"Well, your honor and jurors, viewers and 'watchers', I was just sitting here, modest and demure in my little red chair, reading the scriptures....then noticed that all these famous celebrity men were looking up my skirt.....I felt ashamed, and an 'object'......I'm a nice girl, after all...I'm not Sharon Stone!...really! I plea for a summary judgement or, at least, the ritual castration of those animals.......and I'm totally freaked out that, next year, when I'll have to hem my skirts, shorts and dresses up another two inches to be in 'fashion'....that these monsters will just try to take advantage of my naivety and innocence......I want my pink pony back!"
